Do you have on my underwear?

Some things that people do cannot be explained.

During my high school years, I lived with my step-father and two younger brothers. One sunny Saturday afternoon in 1998, I walked into our 2 bedroom apartment to see my step-father, Big Daryl we called him, in his room watching his television.

His feet were at the head of the bed, his head at the foot of the bed. His arms were hugging the pillow he placed under his chin as he laid on his belly staring at the loud television. I never understood why he listened to the TV so loudly, but that's another story for another day. Today's story involves him and my underwear!

He laid there with no shirt, no socks, no basketball shorts, just a pair of white boxers with little green polka dots all over them. The problem was that those white boxers and each one of those little polka dots belonged to me!

Let me start by saying Big Daryl is probably 6'3" or 6'4" and I imagine he weighs 215-230 pounds. I, on the other hand, was a tiny and thin 5'7" and 140 pounds my junior year of high school.

Now, on a normal day, I would pass by his door, say, "What's up Daryl?" He would look at me with no emotion in his face and respond, "What's up Trap?" and I would continue into my room. After all, this was our customary greeting. He always, always, always just said "What's up Trap?" Many of my high school buddies took note of this and poked fun at me at school, answering any of my questions with, "What's up Trap?" or "I don't know Trap?"

I'd see a group of friends talking during pass period. Each one would look at me blankly, "What's up Trap?" "What's up Trap?" "What's up Trap?" Or if I asked, "What's for lunch today, do you know?" "We don't know Trap," the guys would take turns saying.

Needless to say, this was not a normal day as I walked in the house and saw a man in my undies. I said, "Daryl, do you have on my underwear?" He looked at me for about 3/4s of a second, looked down at the underwear as if checking to see. Then, looking back at me, for the other 1/4 of that second (I guess he didn't want to leave any part of that second unused) he simply said, "Yeah, I was gonna give them back though....Trap."

"Naw, you can keep them."

I walked into my room shaking my head slowly from side to side. I was confused. I thought through the events. Humoring myself, I played out the scenario in my head: First, he thought, "I know, I'll go in Trapper's room and put on some of his underwear." Then, opening my dresser and choosing a pair, "WOW!! Check these out, green polka dots...Sweeeeet!"

That's how it had to happen! That's the only logical way for him to end up in my under. I thought through the situation a million times, there are no other plausible explanations.

Hmmm, I wonder if he still has those underwear? Here in South America, with only 5 pair, I am in need!